Too often, we don’t find out what’s truly on others’ hearts and minds because we don’t know how to ask the right questions in the right ways.
Jeff Wetzler,
Takeaways of Note:
Top ways that open, honest dialogue can become frustrated:
- We don’t find out what the people around us are really struggling with, what they’re up against, what’s hard for them and what’s challenging.
- Actual opinions are not revealed, especially if they’re controversial and the person believes their opinion is unpopular.
- When we come across as demeaning, we will not be given feedback.
- People will not tell us their best ideas for positive change in an atmosphere that discourages new ideas. The costs are often significant.
- Bosses should open up first.
4 Steps to tap into what other people are thinking & feeling and not telling you:
- Choose Curiosity… “what can I learn from this person”
- Pose quality, open-ended questions to learn something important:
- What’s going on here from your perspective?
Do you know what happened?
What might I have been missing?
- What’s going on here from your perspective?
- Listen to learn… listen for words and for the emotion that’s going on in the conversation and the actions that people are taking.
- Paraphrase & provide feedback... ask, “Did I understand that correctly? If not, please correct me.”